I should begin my journey here by shedding some light on who exactly I am… but I’m not going to. However, I will say that my AVI is somewhat deceptive. Some think that I’m a Eugene levy Impersonator / Jewish comic from the Catskills, NY. That would be incorrect. I’m just a run of the mill, blue-collar working man.
Alright, I’ll be honest. I look like Rick Fox if he was dead for 4 days…. This is terrible, but imagine if Rick Fox were to die and after 4 days you were to peer into the casket… Now look at his face… THAT’S MY FACE.
You see, I have various theories on life that shall be explored in this format… One of my theories is that we all look like supermodels or celebrities in varying degrees of decay… Truth be told. We all know several friends of ours who look like Pamela Anderson after a good solid 2 weeks of dry rot.
So the next time you’re at a restaurant with friends, simply look around and play the game..
“You see that busboy? George Clooney, 2 weeks dead.”
“That chic who walked us to the table? Halle Berry, 2 months dead.”
“Was that Kyle Korver who walked in? Ashton Kutcher, 37 minutes dead… in the hot Arizona desert.”
“Is that Rick Carlisle looking over the menu? Jim Carey, 1 day dead… strike that… He just flat out looks like Jim Carey.”
“You see Jerry Jones in the V.I.P. section over there? King Tut, TODAY!!”
The other day I asked my wife about Rick fox. She said, “Ohh… he’s so incredibly handsome!” I said, “At some point, he’ll look totally like me, but you might have to dig him up to see for yourself.”
One day I will run into Rick Fox… or he may appear on Jay Mohr Sports. I may call in and say to him, “Hey Rick, you remind me of myself without the millions of dollars, NBA talent, height, rigor mortis and the stink. Can you send me your autograph?”
What’s an Etchant and where does it come from? Stay tuned.