Ladies Line: I Might Be Mark Sanchez’s Crazy Ex…or Something Like It

I was having a hard time explaining why I have this agressive dislike for Sanchez and why I had this upchuck, visceral reaction like “no, not him *quivering lip*” when I heard the Broncos were picking him up.

And then I thought, u know what? I can break this down with a simple analogy. I have to go a lil back in time to explain, but hang with me, we’ll get there…

So I live in a USC house, socal peeps know what I mean, but lemme put it this way, the “sports room” in my house has one wall painted Cardinal and another painted gold… So u can imagine.

Matt Leinhart was the love of my life. The one who taught me to laugh, sing and dance like no one was watching. But we grew up, grew apart and he had to go to the NFL, and that was ok. We both wanted it that way. Then John David Booty came along and was like that good rebound booty that got me through the breakup. He was good for the taste but not for the swallow, know what I’m sayin’? So I had a feeling that wouldn’t gonna last long. Then in strolls Mark Sanchez, and he’s just my type. Kinda had the same build, same hair, same boyish good looks of Matt… And he had a bomb season. I put my guard down, I was in love again. He was gonna fill the void in my heart that America’s sweetheart Matt (n Bush n White) had left behind. Then literally a season later he decided to go to the NFL draft! Pete Carroll told everyone that he thought Mark was making a mistake, that he was too inexperienced… meanwhile I’m crying on the side like “he left us 😢” FU Sanchez! I felt so abandoned! He slid into my DM’s, made me think he liked me, used terms like “we” and sent “good morning” texts, smashed for a solid season, then phased himself out of my life way too soon…That fool slipped out of California like he left for a pack of smokes n never came back… Then allofasudden he’s on Hard Knocks and I wasent ready to see him! I was still salty af and I don’t route for the Jets sooo I had no love for him… Time passed, like it does so well, and it was like whatev…

It’s years later now and, somehow, still, when I heard the Broncos picked him up just days after America’s sweetheart of today Peyton Manning retires, I’m still salty. I’m like “No! Not him!…not again! He was hit it n quit it when he replaced Matt, he should not be allowed to slide in after Peytie Pie! ”
*breath, sigh, breath*

Apparently people don’t forget…

But it’s been a while, and let’s face it Mark has all the chance of getting cut before he would walk away from the Broncos… So totally different situation.

I’m fully aware that all of this is completely irrational, and dare I say too emotional…but I don’t think that’s a girl thing. I think it’s a sports thing. So now, I wanna know, who jilted you? Which player makes you crazy just to hear their name? Which player makes the most irrational statements and the most awful insults come outta your mouth? Cuz we wanna know!

Ladies line is lit!

-Stefani

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