Living with Monsters

A listener reacts to a very powerful episode of Jay Mohr Sports.

(Editor’s note: The author of this and I have decided to post this without attribution. I have made a couple minor edits to his revised draft to further protect his identity. Please do not speculate about who the author is. I know him to be truthful and to be one who does not seek attention. -Brad)

Sports Talk Radio. Most days it is just guys reliving the previous night’s games, discussing trade rumors, and arguing whether Lebron is better than Kobe or MJ. But every now and then, brave hosts choose to step outside the box and discuss important topics that can actually make a difference in a listener’s lives. Today on Jay Mohr Sports was one of those days. As I listened to Jay talk about the horrors that happened at Penn St, something hidden DEEP inside me resurfaced, and for the 1st time in abut 3 decades, I told someone that I had been molested as a child.

I won’t get into specific details, or give out names of the 2 men who thought it was OK to molest an 8 year old, that is not what this post is about. It’s about ME finally addressing a personal issue that I buried for decades, and tried like hell to tell myself never actually happened.

Although I know this might sound ridiculous, I consider myself very lucky to have developed into the person I am today despite what happened to me. I know so many others are not as lucky as I was. The incidents happened roughly 5 to 6 times. The 1st time the 2 men molested me together, the other times individually. Every time I was made to feel like I would get in trouble if I told anyone. This went on for a couple months. I was smart enough to avoid putting myself in a situation for it to happen again after that. I felt ashamed to tell my parents, and even scared that they might think I was doing something wrong and punish me. So I never told them. I never told anyone, until today.

Instead I lived with the shame and guilt. I’m not sure how it affected me. For the most part I felt like I grew up as a normal kid. I played Little League baseball. I had friends in the neighborhood. I was a good student. Sure, I got in trouble from time to time, but what kid doesn’t. The point is, not all kids re-act the same to traumatic events.

I’ve been married for about 20 years to a wonderful woman. We have beautiful children. By all accounts, I think I have managed to live a normal life. Tonight when I get home, I am going to sit down with my wife and tell her. Then together, we will tell our children. I want my kids to understand what happened. I want them to be aware of the dangers out in the world. I want them to know it is NEVER OK for someone to touch them. I want them to know they can tell us if someone does, that it’s not their fault. I want them to know!

Tomorrow I will tell my parents. I want them to know it wasn’t their fault. I never blamed them, but I’m sure they will feel horrible anyway. That is probably why I never told them, to protect them.

This post isn’t about me. I’m not sending it to get your sympathy. I just think it’s time for me to free myself from this burden I have been carrying around for nearly 3 decades. Hopefully my story can help others deal with theirs and prevent it from happening to other young children. Thank You Jay for bringing this issue to everyone on your show.

Parents, talk to your kids. Be straight with them! Kids are smarter than we give them credit, they can handle it. You telling them about the dangers of this world might just keep them out of the clutches of the Monsters among us.

-Guest Mohrrior

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