I really didn’t do much during my summer vacation, but if i did, i would have avoided as many County Fairs as possible. Put simply, I HATE county fairs for at least 8 reasons-
- You have to pay $15 to park your car in somebody’s front yard that was illegally converted into a parking field.
- You end up eating a steady diet of funnel fries and deep fried butter knowing full well that in a few hours you’ll end up bending down to tie your shoe laces, only to hear a hockey horn sound come out of your backside.
- You obsess over avoiding the guy who guesses people’s weight.
- You feverishly jot down the insults that the water dunk tank guy hurls out. You hashtag them #jaymohrsports, then try to use them to win the THT contest…( That’s a positive thing)
- You experience the thrill of winning a 10ft tall giant bunny rabbit only to realize that you can’t walk around with it all day. You end up either going all the way to your car , that’s parked a half mile away….or you give it to some cute kid while avoiding eye contact from the parents who hate you for doing that.
- You lose $40 on the 3 point contest, after which some snot nosed kid tells you that the rim isn’t regulation size…in fact…you were trying to toss a basketball into a rim that could barely fit a soccer ball.
- You are coerced into getting on a roller-coaster that a dozen non union workers set up in about 15 minutes. You wonder out loud why OSHA has not acted on shutting down those death traps by now, but you are ignored. You however are comforted knowing that Obamacare’s got your back…and i don’t even know what that means.
Put simply, County Fairs aren’t fair.
Did i mention Caricature Sketch Guy ?…Here’s my take–
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